Useful Resources
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Behind The Looking Glass
A film about the lives of women whose partners have or want to ‘transition’. Turn on subtitles using the settings button. Subtitles available in multiple languages. Behind The Looking Glass is a film about the lives of women whose partners have or want to ‘transition’. While we hear a great deal of “stunning and brave” stories of men, there is a deadly silence when it comes to the stories of the wives or partners. This film will be the first of its kind in collecting such experiences of women from around the world.
Perfect Victims and A Tale of Two Films (The Critic, 03/09/24) - Online Article Link
Trans Widows Heartbreak (Daily Mail, 4/09/24) - Online Article Link
Behind The Look Glass (IMDb) - Click Here
These Chains That Have No Name - An Interview With Trans Widows Voices
Articles Written By Tinsel as @Transwidows
Which Side are You on Girls? The Role of Transwidows in Feminism - Read More
The Spousal Exit Clause: Trans Widows Rights are not Yours to Give Away - Read More
Articles Written By Dr Em
Domestic Abuse Related to Late-Transitioning Partners, Part I: Coercive Control by Dr Em - Read More
Domestic Abuse Related to Late-Transitioning Partners, Part II: Gaslighting & Patterns of Behaviour by Dr Em - Read More
AGP Males and Domestic Abuse, Part III: Sexual Abuse - Read More
AGP Males and Domestic Abuse, Part IV: Sissyfication and Submissive ‘Women’ - Read More
TED Talk by Shannon Thrace - Shannon is a former partner of a transitioner, whose transition came about through his use of ‘tranny porn’. When she says that people don’t want her to tell her story, it's because it contradicts the popular narrative of transition.
Let A Woman Speak, Plymouth - Abigail Rowland (from about 1 hour 16 mins)
BBC Womans Hour - How My Ex-husband's Transition Made Me Feel
Abusive Autogynephilic Men Have Taken Charge: Interview with Jenny, a Trans Widow and Erin Brewer
An Interview with Graham Linehan - Jennifer's Story
Object! Hidden Voices - Living with an Autogynephile (AGP)
Object! Hidden Voices - My Dad was an Autogynephile - Emma Bryn
Angela, mother of 3, recounts her marriage to a porn addicted man, who later came out a 'transwoman' - Sissy Hypno Porn & Transgenderism: Angela Shares Her Story
Can I Get a Witness Voices - In Conversation: Jenny & Ayesha, Transwidows Part 1
Can I Get a Witness Voices - In Conversation: Jenny & Ayesha, Transwidows Part 2
Christine Benvenuto - My Husband's Sex Change (Guardian 02/11/2012) - Online Article Link
'Trans widows' Fear Being Trapped (Daily Telegraph 20/06/2021) - Online Article Link | PDF Download
I Became A "Trans Widow" After My Husband Became A Woman - Online Article Link
Til Trans Do Us Part by Jo Bartosch (The Critic 29/03/2022) - Online Article Link
18 Months: A Memoir of a Marriage Lost to Gender Identity
Shannon is no stranger to alternative lifestyles. Raised by Christian parents in Bluegrass country, she fled to the city, scraped together an education, worked for drag shows and befriended poets and anarchists at clothing-optional parties. By the time she settled into her 14-year relationship with Jamie, she had dated women and experimented with polyamory. So when her husband begins crossdressing, she sees no problem – she enjoys flouting the straight world’s pointless rules. Trouble is brewing, though. Jamie’s dive into the world of identity leads to shifting values, sexual dysfunction and a crippling depression. Still deeply in love with the kind, outdoorsy folksinger she once knew, Shannon is committed to working through these challenges. But she is blindsided by the unusual demands of gender dysphoria and learns the hard way that compassion, communication, and even love sometimes just aren’t enough.
18 Months is a fierce defense of love in the face of loss, culminating in self-discovery and reinvention.
Sex Changes by Christine Benvenuto
What do you do when the other woman is your husband? Christine Benvenuto and her husband had been married for more than twenty years and were raising their three young children in a beautiful New England town. One night in bed he turned to her and said, "I'm thinking constantly about my gender," adding that he was unhappy in his body and wanted to become a woman.
The Cross Dresser's Wife - Our Secret Lives by Dee A Levy
Powerful and engaging, this international collection of thoughts and short stories offers valuable and emotionally intimate social commentary on the taboo subculture of cross dressing and exposes the secret lives of their wives and partners who silently grapple with the issue of cross dressing in their marriage or relationship.
Ute Heggen’s husband revealed a shocking truth: he’d started a secret life and no longer identified as male. Ute, a mother of two young sons, thus became a grass widow, a woman whose husband, during a personal crisis, forged ahead into opposite sex identification. Visit YouTube Channel.
Children of Transitioners - A resource for anyone with a transgender parent.
What Is Autogynephilia - An Interview with Dr Ray Blanchard - Read More
The Elephant in the Room by Sue Donym - Read More
Something You Should Realise About Autogynephiles by Lara Adams-Miller - Read More
The Truth About Autogynephilia by Helen Joyce - Read More
A Look At Anne Lawrence's "Men Trapped In Men's Bodies" by Lorelei - Read More
Mumsnet Feminist Chat – A space where trans widows are always supported
Straight Spouse Network - The Straight Spouse Network (SSN) is an international organisation that provides personal, confidential support and information to heterosexual spouses/partners, current or former, of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates and mixed-orientation or transgender/non-transgender couples for constructively resolving coming-out problems.
The Freedom Programme – A useful resource for all trans widows.
Womens Aid - A grassroots organisation working together to provide working to keep women and children safe.
Refuge - The UK National Domestic Abuse helpline.
A Self-Identified Trans Widow Speaks - Tinsel from Trans Widows Voices talks to the Straight Spouse Network about her own experiences and how this led to her setting up the website.
Feminist Current - What happens when your husband decides he is a woman.
Tracy Shannon Part 1 - Tracy Shannon married her high school sweetheart. She married the man of her dreams... or, so she thought. What she thought was a marriage made in heaven became something very different, as her husband eventually revealed he wanted to be a woman. Her life turned upside down.
Tracy Shannon Part 2 - Tracy Shannon's compelling interview on being married to a man who revealed a dark side he failed to disclose prior to their wedding.
We Are The Women Who Say No - Tinsel from Trans Widows Voices talks to the Women's Rights Network about how Trans Widows Voices got started and their stories, incursions on women's boundaries and much more.
Trans Widows in Australia - Lauren and Maggie join Ange and Stassja to talk about their experiences being in relationships with men with autogynephilia.
Feminist Current - A ‘trans widow’ on how her husband went from abuser to trans activist, escaping any accountability for the havoc he wreaked on the life of her her daughter.
Behind The Looking Glass by Vaishnavi Sundar is due for release in 2023 - here is a preview. You can find out more about her via her website Lime Soda Films. Here is an interview with Vaishnavi from Womens Declaration International.