Useful Resources

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Other Trans Widows Stories

Naeferty’s Website - Read More

The Trans Widow - Read More

Ute Heggen - Grass Widow Blog - Read More

Articles Published by Women Are Human

These Chains That Have No Name - An Interview With Trans Widows Voices

Articles Published By "Make More Noise" - A Feminist Collective

A Plea For Help For Feminists From A Trans Widow - Read More

Trans Widows and The Spousal Veto: A Modern Fable of Male Entitlement - Read More

Some Dads Are Trans. Get Over It! - A Review of Nothing Ever Happens - Read More

Articles Published By Uncommonground Media

Articles Written By Tinsel as @Transwidows

Which Side are You on Girls? The Role of Transwidows in Feminism - Read More

The Spousal Exit Clause: Trans Widows Rights are not Yours to Give Away - Read More

 

Articles Written By Dr Em

Domestic Abuse Related to Late-Transitioning Partners, Part I: Coercive Control by Dr Em - Read More

Domestic Abuse Related to Late-Transitioning Partners, Part II: Gaslighting & Patterns of Behaviour by Dr Em - Read More

AGP Males and Domestic Abuse, Part III: Sexual Abuse - Read More

AGP Males and Domestic Abuse, Part IV: Sissyfication and Submissive ‘Women’ - Read More

YouTube Links To Talks & Interviews

Women's Place, Edinburgh

TED Talk by Shannon Thrace - Shannon is a former partner of a transitioner, whose transition came about through his use of ‘tranny porn’. When she says that people don’t want her to tell her story, it's because it contradicts the popular narrative of transition.

Let A Woman Speak, Plymouth - Abigail Rowland (from about 1 hour 16 mins)

My Husband Came Out As Trans by Biirdheart - Part 1

An Update After She Left by Biirdheart - Part 2

BBC Womans Hour - How My Ex-husband's Transition Made Me Feel

Abusive Autogynephilic Men Have Taken Charge: Interview with Jenny, a Trans Widow and Erin Brewer

An Interview with Graham Linehan - Jennifer's Story

Object! Hidden Voices - Living with an Autogynephile (AGP)

Object! Hidden Voices - My Dad was an Autogynephile - Emma Bryn

Angela, mother of 3, recounts her marriage to a porn addicted man, who later came out a 'transwoman' - Sissy Hypno Porn & Transgenderism: Angela Shares Her Story

Can I Get a Witness Voices - In Conversation: Jenny & Ayesha, Transwidows Part 1

Can I Get a Witness Voices - In Conversation: Jenny & Ayesha, Transwidows Part 2

Newspaper Articles

Christine Benvenuto - My Husband's Sex Change (Guardian 02/11/2012) - Online Article Link

'Trans widows' Fear Being Trapped (Daily Telegraph 20/06/2021) - Online Article Link | PDF Download

I Became A "Trans Widow" After My Husband Became A Woman - Online Article Link

Til Trans Do Us Part by Jo Bartosch (The Critic 29/03/2022) - Online Article Link

Books

Sex Changes by Christine Benvenuto

What do you do when the other woman is your husband? Christine Benvenuto and her husband had been married for more than twenty years and were raising their three young children in a beautiful New England town. One night in bed he turned to her and said, "I'm thinking constantly about my gender," adding that he was unhappy in his body and wanted to become a woman.

The Cross Dresser's Wife - Our Secret Lives by Dee A Levy

Powerful and engaging, this international collection of thoughts and short stories offers valuable and emotionally intimate social commentary on the taboo subculture of cross dressing and exposes the secret lives of their wives and partners who silently grapple with the issue of cross dressing in their marriage or relationship.

In The Curated Woods

Ute Heggen’s husband revealed a shocking truth: he’d started a secret life and no longer identified as male. Ute, a mother of two young sons, thus became a grass widow, a woman whose husband, during a personal crisis, forged ahead into opposite sex identification.

Resources For Children of Transitioners

Children of Transitioners - A resource for anyone with a transgender parent.

Information About Autogynephilia

What Is Autogynephilia - An Interview with Dr Ray Blanchard - Read More

The Elephant in the Room by Sue Donym - Read More

Something You Should Realise About Autogynephiles by Lara Adams-Miller - Read More

The Truth About Autogynephilia by Helen Joyce - Read More

A Look At Anne Lawrence's "Men Trapped In Men's Bodies" by Lorelei - Read More

 

Narcissim and Gaslighting 

50 Shades Of Gaslighting: Disturbing Signs An Abuser Is Twisting Your Reality - Read More

Lundy Bancroft – Why Does He Do That? Inside The Minds Of Angry & Controlling Men - Read More

20 Diversion Tactics Narcissists Use To Silence You - Read More

Resources 

Mumsnet Feminist Chat – A space where trans widows are always supported

Straight Spouse Network - The Straight Spouse Network (SSN) is an international organisation that provides personal, confidential support and information to heterosexual spouses/partners, current or former, of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates and mixed-orientation or transgender/non-transgender couples for constructively resolving coming-out problems. 

The Freedom Programme – A useful resource for all trans widows.

Womens Aid - A grassroots organisation working together to provide working to keep women and children safe.

Refuge - The UK National Domestic Abuse helpline.

Podcasts

A Self-Identified Trans Widow Speaks - Tinsel from Trans Widows Voices talks to the Straight Spouse Network about her own experiences and how this led to her setting up the website.

Feminist Current - What happens when your husband decides he is a woman.

Tracy Shannon Part 1 - Tracy Shannon married her high school sweetheart. She married the man of her dreams... or, so she thought. What she thought was a marriage made in heaven became something very different, as her husband eventually revealed he wanted to be a woman. Her life turned upside down.

Tracy Shannon Part 2 - Tracy Shannon's compelling interview on being married to a man who revealed a dark side he failed to disclose prior to their wedding.

Historical Articles

The Psychological Effect on Wives and Partners of Transsexuals - Read More

Conservative Men in Conservative Dresses - Read More

 

Translations

Russian

Spanish

Traditional Chinese - 當丈夫決定變性:跨寡婦的故事 | No Self ID Taiwan 反對自我宣稱性別